A Police Car Scared Me 🤷♂️
Last week, I was driving on the highway.
I checked my mirror and saw a police car behind me.
My chest tightened. My hands gripped the wheel. My eyes jumped to the speedometer. Was I speeding? Did I do something wrong? Should I slow down?
The police car changed lanes and drove past me. It was never about me.
But for those ten seconds, my body was back in India.
If you grew up where I grew up, you know this feeling. A police car doesn't mean safety. It means trouble. Maybe you did something wrong. Maybe you didn't — but you could still end up paying for it. So you learn to be careful. You learn to be defensive. You learn that when someone in power shows up, protect yourself first.
It's not paranoia. It was survival. Where we come from, that reflex kept people safe. 🧱
Here's what took me 6 years to notice.
In Canada, when people see a police car, most of them feel safer. The car is for them, not against them. Public service actually means service.
I'm not saying one country is better. I'm saying the rules changed — and my reflexes didn't.
And here's where it hit me.
That reflex doesn't just show up when I see a police car.
It shows up when someone offers us help. When someone presents an opportunity. When someone sits across the table and says, "Here's what I'd recommend."
Our first thought: What's in it for them? 😮💨
I see this in my mortgage work all the time. A client sits across from me or Sahil from my team, arms crossed, guarded. Not because I did anything. Because somewhere along the way, they learned that everyone selling something is out to get something.
I get it. I really do. That guard protected us once.
But here's the truth: the guard that protected you there can cost you here.
When you walk into every conversation expecting to lose, you close yourself off from advice, from opportunities, from people who genuinely want to help you win. You end up protecting yourself from things that were never attacking you.
The shift is simple, but it takes practice: 🧭
Walk into conversations believing a win-win is possible.
That's it. Not naive. Not careless. Just open to the idea that both people can leave the table better off.
In my business, I take it one step further. I try to create the win for the other person first. If my client wins first — the right mortgage, the right plan, the honest advice — my win takes care of itself. 🌱
That's not a strategy I learned in Canada. That's a choice I made after I realized my old reflexes were driving decisions in a new country.
The police car was never chasing me.
But I spent six years braking anyway.
Some reflexes kept us safe back home. The work now is learning which ones to keep — and which ones to finally let go. 🤍
Hit reply and tell me honestly: what's one reflex you brought with you that you're still unlearning? I read every reply.
Honest sell 😉: Ready to have an honest conversation and create a win-win for your home purchase in the next 12 months? Book a free strategy call — we'll send you on your way with actionable steps that could unlock thousands before you make a purchase.